THE LIGHTHOUSE - Robert Eggers
Beautifully filmed and acted, this crass, claustrophobic black-and-white two-hander set in a lighthouse epitomizes the various stages of the first lockdown of 2020.

ONLY THE ANIMALS - Dominik Moll
Almost silly with it’s ridiculous amount of plot turns and twists, this film happily lands on the side of an intruiging whodunnit mystery revolving around five interconnected characters. Deeply satisfying, with profound humanity

COLOR OUT OF SPACE - Richard Stanley
Bonkers. A film hasn't made me that anxious since watching my au pair eat a bowl of lard, having mistaken it for semolina. That scene - you know, the one when the Alpacas project a purple laser beam from their jaws, and meld the mother and son together into one horrific screaming lump? And then it goes onto the bit where... ugh, I won’t give any more away. There’s nothing like a bit of tough Lovecraft. Unless you’re Doug, who thought HP Lovecraft was something you did with a bottle of sauce in your intimate regions, and was not invited back to his bookclub. But seriously, I do think the world will be a poorer place without Nicholas Cage and his particular style of acting - I think they should name an acting technique after him (à la Stanislavksi), if they haven't already! (Cagey? Cageism? Cag-a-goo-goo? Answers on a postcard).

BACURAU - Kleber Mendonça Filho, Juliano Dornelles
Starts off a bit oddly when you’re not sure what genre it even is, but ends up like an excellent Western, including a Battle Royale-esque massacre. Udo Kier was creepy as; love him and his hammy ways. And what a way to die! I would wish that only on the tangerine shit-gibbon formerly known as President of the USA.

MOFFIE - Oliver Hermanus
Set in ‘80s Apartheid South Africa, this is a harrowing and dark coming [out] of age story; tough, very personal and honest, and surprisingly non-judgmental. It's strangely conflicting because you don't want to feel sorry for the new soldiers, because they're racist c***s, but you do feel sorry for them, because they're just teenaged boys and entirely a product of their culture and upbringing (still, that's no excuse, though!). I didn't see it as ‘just’ a gay story, that was only a small part of a bigger context for me - it makes the point about the toxic society that was (is) South Africa that stems from ignorance and fear; hatred for 'the other', the futility of war, the definition of masculinity, patriarchy, nationalism, family, love... it's philosophically deep, man. They're fighting "the enemy" (communism) which is a social construct, and yet their own social values are so fucked up. What makes one man better than the other? I found just the whole thing authentic and utterly believable. I even thought the abrupt way it ended was brilliant - PTSD, anyone?

WOMEN MAKE FILMS: A NEW ROAD MOVIE THROUGH CINEMA - Mark Cousins.
Are you suffering from feelings of ignorance? Not confident to hold your own at a Surrey dinner party? Are you convinced the Bechtel test is to help you avoid a lumpy white sauce in your lasagne? Sounds like you might be suffering a severe case of Acad-naemia [noun [U]: /ˌakəˈd:-nē′mē-ə/ a deficiency in learning due to a reduced educational input into the brain caused by the withdrawal of institutional facilities “They were faint with acad-naemia due to the lockdown”]. The only remedy is an injection straight into the eyes of Women Make Film: A Road Movie Through Cinema, which will rebalance your intellect levels, soothe any feelings of anxiety, and cure stupid. Prescribed by Dr. Lydia von Penke-Penke: take 5 x 3 hour doses. Widely available at your local Curzon Home Cinema. [WARNING: May cause addiction and extreme knowledge about women filmmakers. Do not ingest whilst operating heavy machinery.]

SAINT MAUD - Rose Glass
A perfectly constructed film in every way: high-end British seaside psycho-religious horror that harks back to the classics such as Rosemary’s Baby. The lead, Morfyyd Clark, gives amazing crazy. If this was my first feature, I’d be pretty chuffing chuffed with myself.

WOLFWALKERS - Tomm Moore, Ross Stewart.
Visually stunning, cinematic, gorgeous animation which is very mid-century, the backdrops look like they were designed by Lucienne Day or Ray Eames and would fit into any Shoreditch hipster’s house. Highbrow, akin to Japanese animé, it's more at the challenging end of cartoons, so maybe not suitable for the very young children of today's Disney-coddled society. It's a gorgeous family film, harking back to folklore and faerie-tales of aulde, it's a work of art as well as great storytelling, and I'm sure there's a socio-political message hidden in there, too; it's got Oscars written all over it. The second-best Sean Bean film you’ll see all year.

THE MOLE AGENT - Maite Alberdi
Truly original documentary in the style of a film noir. A detective agency hires an octegenarian to infiltrate an old people’s home as a mole, gadget spy glasses and all. The client who initially approached the agency suspects abuse and mistreatment of her mother and the occupants in the home; what our hero discovers will simultaneously warm and break your heart. Talking of original documentaries, an honourable mention goes to MIDNIGHT FAMILY (Luke Lorentzen) - a top doc that plays more like an adrenaline-fuelled action movie! With 45 official government ambulances for Mexico City’s 9 million people, we chase a family with a private ambulance business as they weave at god’s speed between scraping a living and compromising their ‘clients’ health.

ANOTHER ROUND - Thomas Vinterberg
You'll be delighted to hear that Vinterberg retains a number one position in my heart. Mads Mikkelson is amazing at depicting middle-aged depression, I was crying with him, living his insecurity, and laughing with him. Overall it was a joyous celebration of booze and how it can, indeed, make you into the best version of yourself - and also the worst. And, because it's vintage Vinterberg ♡, I can forgive the corny finale.

Preview recommendation:

DEERSKIN - Quentin Dupieux.
A guy buys a second hand jacket, that he loves a little bit too much. It has a killer style.

Didn’t quite make the list:

LES MISÉRABLES - Ladj Ly
If you’re expecting yet another remake of the tiresome musical, you’ll be disappointed. This is French social realism about policing a particularly dodgy Paris banlieue (the location of Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables) and all of the politics and tensions between the police, locals, kids, ‘mayors’, gangs therein. The director was inspired by his own upbringing. Not quite on a par with LA HAINE, but in a similar vein.

THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE ON THE RUN - Tim Hill
Just for it’s opening sequence, and Keanu Reeves as -literally- a sage ball of sage (tumbleweed).


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